1.The True History of Abraham Lincoln, Part 1.

A short excerpt from Part 1:

“It’s the year 3078, and in one of the villages only heated, underground rooms, young Neil Witherspikz is born into a frozen, polar bear ruled Earth. Due to complications, Neil becomes sterile within hours. Unable to ever mate, by the age of twelve, Neil is forced to become a highly expendable work force…”

As you can see, 1. I need to work on my writing skills, and 2. There’s apparently a lot that history has failed to document about Abe’s real life. Luckily, You all have me to navigate! Or something along those lines! I don’t know! I’m tired right now!

(NOTE: “The True History of Abraham Lincoln” is a fabricated story, written simply for the entertainment of the writer and, hopefully, the reader.)

2. Korean Pocky pics! A relative of mine works with the Navy, and was recently able to send me some korean Pocky, so I’ll go ahead and share pictures with the internet! I’ll try to get those up soon, but due to my not-very-tech-savvyness, it might take a little while. Sorry!

That’s all for now. Just trying to keep you all updated.

But still, no matter how many times I get my buttocks pwnzored, it was worth the split $20. To anyone who may want to friend (or pwnzor) me, my name on TF2 is currently The Blair Apple, just like that. Keep in mind, I share this game with my brother, and occasionally let friends use it, so it’s not always me playing.

Aaaaaaaaand next topic. School’s back in. It’s not bad. Most my teachers are good. I seemed to have chosen all the right classes, with the exception of American Sign Language, that’s in question. But overall, looks like it’ll be a pretty good year. I’m hoping my learnings of what not to do from my eldest brother come in handy.

So, there’s your update, whoever actually reads this. Hope you enjoyed it.

But then I did some research, and it turns out it’s a lot uglier than you first think. I mean, I searched up for some good sites, and this quote I found was the first thing you see when you open one of the sites!

“I find no comfort in the shade
Under the branch of the Great Ash.
I remember the mist
of our ancient past.
As I speak to you in the present,
My ancient eyes
see the terrible future.

“Do you not see what I see?
Do you not hear
death approaching?

“The mournful cry of Giallr-horn
shall shatter the peace
And shake the foundation of heaven.

“Raise up your banner
And gather your noble company
from your great hall,
Father of the Slains.
For you shall go to your destiny.

“No knowledge can save you,
And no magic will save you.
For you will end up in Fenrir’s belly,
While heaven and earth will burn
in Surt’s unholy fire.”

— Doom of Odin,
from the Book of Heroes.*

This by no means means that I’ve been deterred. And by no means was I expecting anything as happy as what the Greeks came up with, considering the major geological difference (Norse country= cold as hell. Greece= decent climate, good growing seasons. Few die fighting off perilous cold.). All I’m saying is that these f ‘ers are grumpy. I just wanna find one of these Norse writers and give em a hug. But probably not. They’d probably throw me to the other side of their hut and bring about some humiliating, painful death for me. Or not. Never know ’til you try.  ; )

P.S. In all seriousness, I really enjoy Norse Mythology. I mean, hell, a Wolf eats Odin in the end of the world. You gotta give these depressed Norse people some props for thinking up an end of the world that epic.

*Taken from  http://www.timelessmyths.com/norse/

The name explains itself. It’s a winged, magical Unicorn, capable of travel to virtually anywhere, carrying with it the benefits of both a Unicorn and A Pegasus. So the idea just about stopped there for a while.

But then I started studying Greek Myths for school, and I found a Greek myth on how man was created. The idea was that the G-ds, at one time or another, began experimenting with metals, making life with them, starting with a Golden Race. They were men who lived without toil, sorrow, and although mortal, lived as though they were G-ds. They eventually died of age, leaving behind them their spirits, as protectors of Man.

The G-ds then continued to experiment with metals, working from the best (gold) to the worst (iron, ourselves)*. Eventually, sometime after the Brass race, there came a race of great splendor**, somewhere in between Brass and Iron, that fought great wars and were renown throughout history.

At one point or another, I made the connection between metal races of splendor and glory and immortal golems. Put the two together, and you get an immortal race of men, an engineering feat so great it creates life itself, and all under the control of their creator.

This is truly a man’s dream, isn’t it? To be master of an immortal, unstoppable army that can succeed in whatever feat or challenge is given to them? I thought, and after considering the UniPegasus, I realized it wasn’t.

And so, I came to the conclusion that it would be both. And hence, a UniPegasus Golem Race.

The benefits are endless: transportation to anywhere on earth, a resource of potentially endless knowledge due to their ability to go just about anywhere to obtain information, and unstoppable military to conquer or defend with, even labor to build entire cities with in a mere week’s time. If you can think of something you want them to do, they’ll do it.

Now I just need means of obtaining said Golem Race.

*The order of the races were; Gold, Silver, Brass, ?, Iron.

**From Edith Hamilton’s “Mythology”, pg. 72; “They (the brass men) were terrible men, immensely strong, and such lovers of war and violence that they were completely destroyed by their own hands. This, however, was all to the good, for they were followed by a splendid race of godlike heroes who fought glorious wars and went on great adventures which men have talked and sung of through all the ages since.”